quarta-feira, junho 16, 2004

All my new pages get dirty

I tried to rebuild my own life several times since she abandoned me, but she is always pushing me down by using the weapons she has in hands. When my love and passion was reduced to nothing but caress and memories, she started to use our son to do that.

Several times after the divorce, she used me to satisfy her needs with promises of getting back together again and again, at least four times she came back living with me again for a whole week. That hapened once a month, until I felt very bad and put a end to it.

In October 2003, knowing that I was getting engaged with someone else, she proposed to me that now, we could be lovers, as we both were in stable relationships and we were fantastic in bed. I refused although my feelings about her were not clear yet.

In December, although she knew that my grandmother was coming to meet my son, her unique great-grandson, and after a year fighting with a cancer, she started to use our son as main weapon to control my life, what originated a mediation at the “SOS Criança” (something like SOS Chield), done there by a psychologist or social assistant, but I should notice that, to guarantee that my grandmother will see my son I had to tell my ex-wife that I wasn’t having any contact with my girlfriend anymore and immediately after the meeting there, she asked me to go to somewhere where we could make sex, what I refused again.

In another meeting, she almost attacked me because of my insistent refuse in having sex with her, although the last time she proposed that we could be lovers while having our own relationships were after she came from Sweden.

That time, her main argumentation was that if I was seeking a good relationship with her mother, the only reason we got divorced in her opinion was dismissed, and we could try again if I loved her yet. I did answered that I was not abandoned by her mom, but by her, that I decided that her mother was definitely very important to our son and I would respect her as a figure that is very, very important to him, as she also is.

I completely despaired with my life, because I can’t restart it, when I think that everything is calm and safe, some bomb explodes to hurl me down again and compels me to recoup my last strengths and defend my son, myself, my wife from her attacks, without the chance to turn over the pages from our failed marriage.

I just need help from anyone that knows how to spot a vindictive ex-wife to destroy the entire life of her almost destroyed ex-husband.

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