Eu deveria chorar, não consigo, na verdade, eu preciso chorar, preciso gritar, não consigo. Sinto-me paralisado, embargado. Dentro de mim há uma enorme turbulência, não consigo dormir, esperar o dia seguinte, não posso esperar mais. Minha vida se tornou esperar, esperar inóquo, indecente, inútil e impotente.

Não suporto mais reencenar o fim, meu desejo é que o fim se complete, de qualquer forma, de alguma maneira, precido do fim, mas estou paralisado, continuo paralisado, não me movo, não inicio ou termino qualquer coisa, não grito, não choro. Minha vida é esperar pelo fim, não mais que esperar, que não se abrevia por mais que eu deseje.

Desejaria voltar à vida.

Morrer talvez, mas morrer não posso, não me é possível. Voltar à vida não me é permitido.

Voltar à vida seria cômodo, mesmo uma vidinha sem brilho seria melhor que o limbo em que me encontro, paralisante, sufocante.

Angustiante. Não choro. Não grito.

Vou para o quarto, amanhã alimento minha espera.

Stairway to Heaven by Led Zeppelin

There's a lady who's sure all that glitters is gold
And she's buying a stairway to heaven
And when she gets there she knows if the stores are closed
With a word she can get what she came for

Woe oh oh oh oh oh
And she's buying a stairway to heaven

There's a sign on the wall but she wants to be sure
And you know sometimes words have two meanings
In the tree by the brook there's a songbird who sings
Sometimes all of our thoughts are misgiven

Woe oh oh oh oh oh
And she's buying a stairway to heaven

There's a feeling I get when I look to the west
And my spirit is crying for leaving
In my thoughts I have seen rings of smoke through the trees
And the voices of those who stand looking

Woe oh oh oh oh oh
And she's buying a stairway to heaven

And it's whispered that soon, if we all call the tune
Then the piper will lead us to reason
And a new day will dawn for those who stand long
And the forest will echo with laughter

And it makes me wonder

If there's a bustle in your hedgerow
Don't be alarmed now
It's just a spring clean for the May Queen

Yes there are two paths you can go by
but in the long run
There's still time to change the road you're on

Your head is humming and it won't go because you don't know
The piper's calling you to join him
Dear lady can't you hear the wind blow and did you know
Your stairway lies on the whispering wind

And as we wind on down the road
Our shadows taller than our souls
There walks a lady we all know
Who shines white light and wants to show
How everything still turns to gold
And if you listen very hard
The tune will come to you at last
When all are one and one is all
To be a rock and not to roll
Woe oh oh oh oh oh
And she's buying a stairway to heaven

There's a lady who's sure all that glitters is gold
And she's buying a stairway to heaven
And when she gets there she knows if the stores are closed
With a word she can get what she came for

And she's buying a stairway to heaven, uh uh uh.

Eu, por mim mesmo!

Posted by Hello